Strong, brave, fearless – and each is a macho in bed. This is according to their words. In fact, it turns out that heroes-lovers have weak points, and behind verbal bravado lies fear.
In sexual relations, hidden fears are the main obstacle, restraining mutual trust and closeness arising from physical contact. Sometimes these fears are so strong that sex from pleasure turns into a duty. On the one hand, men are waiting for some trick on the part of partner, and on the other hand they constantly worry about their own solvency.
Women Men are Afraid of
As soon as a woman in bed begins to act like a live instruction on her own exploitation and gives valuable instructions «Two centimeters to the left, four – to the right. Now turn around!», a man has a natural desire to regain leadership himself. Often, women-leaders behave this way, approaching sex as regular project that can not be failed. And her partner is disappointed, having got in his arms a «boss», not a woman.
Tip: To avoid this problem, sometimes it is enough just to change the tone. And to ask, not to order. It is to ask, let the man feel your «dependence» and himself in the role of «leader». Power of a woman is in her weakness.
A typical female way to relieve tension is to talk. During sex, when physical sensations are most powerful, women often resort to most common way of detente – to speech. It prevents a loved one from having pleasure. You see, it’s hard for men to listen and make love at the same time, that is, to make both hemispheres work simultaneously. They have to make effort to understand what a partner is trying to tell about. The more abundant the speech flow, the more difficult it is for him.
Tip: Concentrate on what is happening to your body here and now, and not on what you would like to say. Try to relax and allow yourself to feel and participate in the process. Silence, of course, is not necessary, but let it be words of love and passion!
Men are pushed away by female coldness. They do not like it when women behave as if they are indifferent to sex. For some women, game of «sexual corpse» is a kind of expression of contained anger or discontent: «I do not feel anything. And you have no power over me.» This is the so-called «passive-aggressive reaction»: partner looks passive, but in reality, lack of reaction is a form of aggressive behavior. Interest in sex is a demonstration of love for partner (this is one of the secrets of striptease attractiveness).
Tip: Ask yourself: «Will I like sex if my partner behave differently?» The answer is yes? This is a reason to talk to your man.
Fail the Exam
A man who aspires first of all to prove his strength involuntarily turns intimacy into a kind of examination. And often he «fails» this exam precisely because he does not feel quite free and relaxed. One of the most common male sexual disorders is the so-called «performing anxiety». If a person watches his breathing, he will more likely lose it, and there will be a feeling like «I’m tired of breathing». A similar mechanism is involved here. The more such a man seeks to «be strong», the stronger retarding ideas that prevent erection become.
Tip: If your potential partner postpones the moment of intimacy under any excuse, perhaps he is feeling fear. And then you must be very careful. Do not push him, but let’s understand that he is interesting to you.
Not to Survive Natural Selection
If you tell your man about your amazing affair with an Italian who considered personal insult of less than five of your orgasms at a time, the current lover can decide that on the background of previous macho he will look like a miserable thing. Avoid such revelations.
Tip: Talking bad about this Italian is not recommended either: firstly, out of male solidarity, your man can stand up for his defense, and secondly, he is afraid that if you beak up, you will say the same about him.
To come to Finish First
Too violent preparation for sexual intercourse with preliminary erotic images can cause the fact that a first touch to a woman is enough to trigger a corresponding reflex. Accelerating from failure to failure fixation on premature ejaculation brings to that sometimes it is only necessary to think at the beginning of the sexual intercourse about possibility of premature ejaculation, as it immediately occurs. Knowing for himself such a feature, a man is likely to give out his fear with endless questions: «Is it true that you felt good?», etc.
Tip: If you want to continue relationship, accustom your loved one to a long foreplay, let him feel his power over your body.
Not to Fit into Standards
Any man is concerned about issue of size, although most often pleasure of a partner depends not only on size. Often this is just an illusion that arises from the fact that a man sees his penis from above, and it seems to the owner to be shorter than it really. In this form it is fixed in consciousness and underestimation of its length is continuously maintained.
Tip: Finding poses for deeper penetration actually removes this issue from the agenda. Lack of empathy in a couple is often the result of differences in views of men and women on sex life. For most men, complete satisfaction is to achieve maximum erection and orgasm, and women equally value both sexual intercourse itself and atmosphere of tenderness and intimacy. If we take into account both these moments, then enormous tension arising at the beginning of relationship will be removed.